Monday, 10 August 2009

Stop it!

Hmmm.. it's hot in here. Turn a/c on. No, my brother has a cold. Pfff.. OK. Sleep a bit more then. No, no, you're not thinking that now. Sleeeep!

Oh, good morning. It's still hot. Alright. Off bed. Let's have a good day. What shall I wear today? No, you're not thinking about it any more. Stop it! It's either you say what you want on the spot or you shut the hell up later..., forever! If you're too nice, fine, stay the same till one day you become 'nice' only without 'too'.

A week ago, I spent two days eating things that are not the least related to each other. My stomach decided to punish me and gave me a sore spot on my lip. To get rid of it, a friend of mine suggested a home remedy recipe.
"Warm half a cup milk and add half a spoon of yeast to it, stir," she said. "Drink it on empty stomach. It should wash your it. I always drink this every morning. It's great for your skin, specially your face." Because I've heard the same advice from two different sources, my mom and my future sister-in-law, I decided to follow it. It's been three days now since I started this habit. The only good change I've noticed is that this half a cup fills me up in the morning. My mom says yeast is full of vitamin B. Let's hope it is... What's all this blabbering about? Why is that important anyway? Stop it!

I received a message from a colleague/friend. We're going to go for lunch or coffee after work. I texted to say I was on my way to work.

The office was busy. It's a non-teaching day, i.e. people are less busy and have more time to chat.

Back to my computer. Still in a bad mood. Can't get what you said off my head. Enter the grades into the system. It's funny how you see students' faces when you see their names. Thirsty. I went on the balcony to get some water.
'Hey, Dan.'
'Hey, how's everything? Have you sorted everything out for New York?' he said in his Yorkshire accent.
'Yes, all set.'
'You'll have a blast. I went their on holiday and I had a great time.'
'I just wish my stipend would allow me have some fun.'
'You can do it. Go with the locals. You know there are cheap stuff there as well. You can even get a message on the street. There is this authentic Chinese tents where you walk in and get a message just like you do in China.'
'Interesting.' I wondered how he manages to get China in every single conversation. He worked there for a while.

Back to work. Starting to feel nervous about the goodbyes. I have to go tomorrow to the traffic department, and get an international license application. Not that I plan to drive there, but just in case.

'Will you be around for a while?'
'No, Caroline. I'm off in half an hour or so. Do you need anything?'
'No, I just thought I should give you this in case I come back from lunch and don't see you. I'm terrible at goodbyes, so I'll see you later, maybe?'
'Me, too.' We kissed and she handed me a card.

Dear N., my neighbour and friend for many years. (the card had a picture of two camel riders in the desert and had a note that this is how Scotland may have looked liked 250 million years ago)
Hope you have a wonderful time in NYC - I know you're going to love it. Do pass on my best wishes to Brad should your paths cross_tell him there's a spare room awaiting him in Cairo if he ever gets fed up with that witch Angelina. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for you on CSI NooYoik - I insist you try to get some exstras' work while you're there (pass on my best to Gary Sinise too: Mac Taylor - wot a hunk!)
Lots of love, x
Keep in touch. Caroline.

The same card has Carline's boyfriend words as well. He's, .. was, my line manager.

Have a whale of a time in the Big Apple. Sad to see you go but reckon you'll love it and end up staying there for years 'n years. Ant x.

See, this is what I'm talking about. I hate goodbyes. I went with my friend to the shopping mall. I needed .. nothing much really. I just needed to be out. I left work without saying any more goodbyes. I sent a thank you e-mail to all staff. A colleague is arranging a farewell party at her place on Friday. So that should be enough of getting emotional.

Stop it. We've discussed it enough.

I need to send my photo to school to get me ID issued by the time I arrive. I also need to buy a cardigan for the new dress.

At Beano's Cafe. My friend was feeling a bit down as well. I asked her what was wrong and she said 'Nothing, today at work Iman and Rob were back from holidays. They look so fresh. I'm really knackered.'
'You're off soon, starting your new career as a nurse. Only three more weeks of being a teacher and that's it.'
'I know. I just feel lonely when I see couples. Plus, Iman always looks glamorous and I'm actually feeling ugly these days.'
'Will you stop it? Why would you say that? You are NOT ugly. Choose a handsome guy and I'll go ask him if he'd like to have coffee with you.' She laughed out loud. 'You see, you can laugh. That's not ugly. Plus, if Iman is glamorous, that's good for her. It should not affect you.'
'I know,' she sighed. If only she knew why I've ordered a three-layer pancake at 3 p.m.. If only she knew that the stupid $%^^U*% who made her feel ugly and killed her self-esteem was not worth it. If only I could say all what I wanted yesterday! Stop it!

Hang on. I'm starting to feel that hanging out with her so often is making me blue. There's something about her voice, her loneliness, and her facial expressions that's really sad and it's starting to get to me. I'm not going to go on comforting and reassuring her about herself. Plus, she apologizes too many times for things she didn't even do. She kept saying sorry the other day once we were out of the movies. We'd watched 'the hangover' and she took responsibility for the bad choice although it was both of us choosing. She was guilty she suggested it and it was full of 'bad language' I might not like!!
'I'm an adult, you know?' I said. 'And please stop saying sorry for things you didn't do because I really don't know how to reply to that.' I too should stop saying sorry often. I've seen people who say it less to be happier than those who say it more often. So, stop it!

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