I had Thursday off, i.e. I had a three-day weekend. It was decided on Wednesday that my family and I would accept my cousin's invitation to spend a couple of days at her summer house, chalet as we call it, on the North Coast of Egypt.
We left Cairo at 1.00 a.m. and arrived 4.00 a.m. Everyone there was still awake. By 'everyone' I mean the following ten people:
my cousin (hostess) + son and daughter,
another cousin, hostess' sister (+ husband and daughter),
another cousin (+ daughter),
and my two uncles (one needy and one likes to joke 'roughly', i.e. using his hands).
Add me, my mom, dad and brother and you've got fourteen people in a three bedroom house.
The more, the merrier? Well, I have to slightly agree. It was a lot of fun. And slightly disagree for some reasons you must have already guessed.
Day one:
1.00 pm. Ten people at the table having breakfast. Yes, you heard it right. Breakfast.
'So, are we having pizza or potatoes for lunch?'
'Pizza'
'No, potatoes'
'No, pizza. You promised yesterday.'
My mom intervened now because she knew that her favorite brother wanted potatoes.
‘Ok, we'll have to design elections and take votes. A man’s vote is worth two of a woman’s or a girl’s.’
Yes, you’ve guessed right. Everyone laughed, including myself. And you’ve also guessed right, my feminist side was itching but I had to just join in the joke.
‘Listen, mama. Everyone will write what they feel like having for lunch and we draw and count. Khalas, it’s that simple.’
1.15 pm
Men are back to the front porch and women are either clearing the table, washing the dishes, or cleaning the kitchen. Me? I was doing the dishes.
1.20 pm
Tea, cake and dessert are served? = more cups and plates for me to wash. I don’t mind, though, as long as I’m doing them while my talkative cousin is eating my ear off with girly chat.
1.40 pm
Finally. I’m sitting down with everyone and having my tea.
‘I want some water to take my pills, baby.’
‘Ok, mom.’ Tea down. Go to the kitchen and bring water. Go back and sit down. Sip tea.
1.42 pm
‘Is there any more of this cake?’
‘Yes, uncle, just a minute. Don’t drink your tea yet.’ Tea down. Go to the kitchen and bring a slice of cake. Sip tea and try to sit down …
1.45 pm
‘Oh, gosh. I forgot to pray the noon prayer. How come no one reminded me? Could you bring me …’
‘… theeeee prayer mat. Sure, …’ Tea down. Go back in, look in every room for the mat.
‘Here, you go uncle.’
1.50 pm
‘Hey, girl, come and sit next to your uncle. I haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘No, no, leave her,’ my mom said. ‘Come and tell Aunt Noura what happened the other day in the kitchen.’
Tea down, sit with the women, tell them what my mom said and did the other day in the kitchen. Everyone cracks up.
1.55 pm
Tea is cold.
2.30 pm
Cleaning the chalet, i.e. women are cleaning the chalet for the afternoon. I won’t get into details but I have to tell you that there were six men around and three messy women.
3.00 pm
Two women are in the kitchen. Preparing lunch??? Whaaat?
‘Mom, I’m not even stepping into the kitchen, what are you doing here now?’ I told my mom under my breath.
‘I’m getting everything ready so that I enjoy the afternoon without worrying about it.’
I took two of the three young females in the house. One glance at them and they understood. We sneaked out with our books and i-Pods to the beach.
‘Do you think it’s OK if I lie down on my back?’ one of them asked me.
‘Of course you can, honey,’ I replied. ‘Go ahead girl, I’ll watch out for you in case a guy comes and checks your bum out.’
She laughs and rests her back on the sand. ‘Oh, that feels good.’
7.15 pm
‘Luuunch is reaaadddyyy eeevvveerrryyyyooooone,’ my cousin shouts around the house.
Where’s Ahmed? Where’s Dina? Where’s …. They keep where’s-ing until everyone was there.
8.00 pm
Men are back to the front porch and women are either clearing the table, washing the dishes, or cleaning the kitchen. Me? I was doing the dishes.
Yes, I did copy and paste from above.
‘I changed my mind, Sara, why don’t you do the dishes and I make tea and get them dessert?’
‘Cool, go ahead.’
8.20 pm
Earphones, running shoes on, back door opened, and I sneaked out. In a house full of fourteen people, you wouldn’t notice the absence of one for half and hour.
Walk, and walk and listen to music and sing. Jog for two songs, no, let them be one. Oh, gosh, first personal goal for September, exercise regularly. You’re thirty now for god’s sake. But you could still talk while jogging, it means you’re not out of breath, you see? Liar, you know you’re not as fit as you could be.
9.15 pm
Hair wet from the shower, towel on my back and tube of foot cream in hand.
‘You know, Oz Oz, I know a great hair cream that you can use to get your hair permed,’ my cousin, auntie Noura, said.
Yes, Oz Oz is the nickname this side of the family decided to give me twenty years ago. Mind you, my actual name has no “O” or “Z” but rather “N” and “R”.
‘Interesting. I’m not thinking about straightening my hair, though.’
‘It’s LE 1,500. Do you know Dalia, Shadia’s daughter, she’s got a much coarser, more difficult hair, and this cream worked well for her.’
‘Really, that’s great, but I don’t like to mess with my hair a lot.’
Ok, so now we’re over the oh-my-god-she’s-taken-the-veil-off phase into how-are-we-gonna-fix-her-curly-hair one. Take it easy! Just smile, they’ll be thinking about pizza and potatoes in a minute.
‘You know what you could also do?’ my other cousin says enthusiastically. ‘There are new creatine products. Have you heard of them?’
‘Yes, auntie, but I just think God chose for me the hair that goes well with my complexion and character,’ I replied.
‘Wise girl,’ she smiles. ‘So, what are we having tomorrow for lunch? Pizza or Potatoes?’
We left Cairo at 1.00 a.m. and arrived 4.00 a.m. Everyone there was still awake. By 'everyone' I mean the following ten people:
my cousin (hostess) + son and daughter,
another cousin, hostess' sister (+ husband and daughter),
another cousin (+ daughter),
and my two uncles (one needy and one likes to joke 'roughly', i.e. using his hands).
Add me, my mom, dad and brother and you've got fourteen people in a three bedroom house.
The more, the merrier? Well, I have to slightly agree. It was a lot of fun. And slightly disagree for some reasons you must have already guessed.
Day one:
1.00 pm. Ten people at the table having breakfast. Yes, you heard it right. Breakfast.
'So, are we having pizza or potatoes for lunch?'
'Pizza'
'No, potatoes'
'No, pizza. You promised yesterday.'
My mom intervened now because she knew that her favorite brother wanted potatoes.
‘Ok, we'll have to design elections and take votes. A man’s vote is worth two of a woman’s or a girl’s.’
Yes, you’ve guessed right. Everyone laughed, including myself. And you’ve also guessed right, my feminist side was itching but I had to just join in the joke.
‘Listen, mama. Everyone will write what they feel like having for lunch and we draw and count. Khalas, it’s that simple.’
1.15 pm
Men are back to the front porch and women are either clearing the table, washing the dishes, or cleaning the kitchen. Me? I was doing the dishes.
1.20 pm
Tea, cake and dessert are served? = more cups and plates for me to wash. I don’t mind, though, as long as I’m doing them while my talkative cousin is eating my ear off with girly chat.
1.40 pm
Finally. I’m sitting down with everyone and having my tea.
‘I want some water to take my pills, baby.’
‘Ok, mom.’ Tea down. Go to the kitchen and bring water. Go back and sit down. Sip tea.
1.42 pm
‘Is there any more of this cake?’
‘Yes, uncle, just a minute. Don’t drink your tea yet.’ Tea down. Go to the kitchen and bring a slice of cake. Sip tea and try to sit down …
1.45 pm
‘Oh, gosh. I forgot to pray the noon prayer. How come no one reminded me? Could you bring me …’
‘… theeeee prayer mat. Sure, …’ Tea down. Go back in, look in every room for the mat.
‘Here, you go uncle.’
1.50 pm
‘Hey, girl, come and sit next to your uncle. I haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘No, no, leave her,’ my mom said. ‘Come and tell Aunt Noura what happened the other day in the kitchen.’
Tea down, sit with the women, tell them what my mom said and did the other day in the kitchen. Everyone cracks up.
1.55 pm
Tea is cold.
2.30 pm
Cleaning the chalet, i.e. women are cleaning the chalet for the afternoon. I won’t get into details but I have to tell you that there were six men around and three messy women.
3.00 pm
Two women are in the kitchen. Preparing lunch??? Whaaat?
‘Mom, I’m not even stepping into the kitchen, what are you doing here now?’ I told my mom under my breath.
‘I’m getting everything ready so that I enjoy the afternoon without worrying about it.’
I took two of the three young females in the house. One glance at them and they understood. We sneaked out with our books and i-Pods to the beach.
‘Do you think it’s OK if I lie down on my back?’ one of them asked me.
‘Of course you can, honey,’ I replied. ‘Go ahead girl, I’ll watch out for you in case a guy comes and checks your bum out.’
She laughs and rests her back on the sand. ‘Oh, that feels good.’
7.15 pm
‘Luuunch is reaaadddyyy eeevvveerrryyyyooooone,’ my cousin shouts around the house.
Where’s Ahmed? Where’s Dina? Where’s …. They keep where’s-ing until everyone was there.
8.00 pm
Men are back to the front porch and women are either clearing the table, washing the dishes, or cleaning the kitchen. Me? I was doing the dishes.
Yes, I did copy and paste from above.
‘I changed my mind, Sara, why don’t you do the dishes and I make tea and get them dessert?’
‘Cool, go ahead.’
8.20 pm
Earphones, running shoes on, back door opened, and I sneaked out. In a house full of fourteen people, you wouldn’t notice the absence of one for half and hour.
Walk, and walk and listen to music and sing. Jog for two songs, no, let them be one. Oh, gosh, first personal goal for September, exercise regularly. You’re thirty now for god’s sake. But you could still talk while jogging, it means you’re not out of breath, you see? Liar, you know you’re not as fit as you could be.
9.15 pm
Hair wet from the shower, towel on my back and tube of foot cream in hand.
‘You know, Oz Oz, I know a great hair cream that you can use to get your hair permed,’ my cousin, auntie Noura, said.
Yes, Oz Oz is the nickname this side of the family decided to give me twenty years ago. Mind you, my actual name has no “O” or “Z” but rather “N” and “R”.
‘Interesting. I’m not thinking about straightening my hair, though.’
‘It’s LE 1,500. Do you know Dalia, Shadia’s daughter, she’s got a much coarser, more difficult hair, and this cream worked well for her.’
‘Really, that’s great, but I don’t like to mess with my hair a lot.’
Ok, so now we’re over the oh-my-god-she’s-taken-the-veil-off phase into how-are-we-gonna-fix-her-curly-hair one. Take it easy! Just smile, they’ll be thinking about pizza and potatoes in a minute.
‘You know what you could also do?’ my other cousin says enthusiastically. ‘There are new creatine products. Have you heard of them?’
‘Yes, auntie, but I just think God chose for me the hair that goes well with my complexion and character,’ I replied.
‘Wise girl,’ she smiles. ‘So, what are we having tomorrow for lunch? Pizza or Potatoes?’
6 comments:
LOL
When you are in NYC -- I will get you the names of the best curly hair salons...and yes, there are many...
I forgot to bring a book... thank god finally I find something funny to read. "theeeeee prayer mat" cracked me up :) This weekend looked like fun though. So... Oz Oz ? Really ? :) If you're not sure whether you can lie on your back on a beach in Egypt, you and your cousins can come to Lebanon (although definitely everyone checks everyone out).
I loved the picture too. And I'm glad that you're proud of your hair, they're you.
Your feet are in the middle... right ?
No, they're not the ones in the middle. They are the seventh from the right.
New York is your new picture?
Yes,, for a while!
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