Hennoooo!?

I am supposed to be reading two chapters on teaching methodology (I am one chapter behind) and an article on probability sampling. But who cares! I am also supposed to be watching my diet and instead I am treating myself, for no reason, to a plate of home made cinnamon and vanilla cookies stuffed with strawberry jam. In order to waste more time, I decided to make tea with milk. No milk. Good. I got changed and went down to buy some.



I passed by the hairdresser’s I told you about two times before, the name of which I never cared to know. I decided to go in. For the first time ever I was the only customer there. The owner, who had a toothache, was resting her head on the counter and the three young assistants were chatting their time away.

I walked in and Aleyya, who once told me ‘Call me Kooki’, stood up to attend to me as usual.


- Hello, Kooki. Wow, is this your after Ramadan new look? Nice gold highlights.
• Merci. Do I look nice.
- As pretty as a full moon, as always.
• What do you need today?
- The usual but please don’t change me into a clown. Let my eyebrows look the way you see them.
• Ok, ya gameel , (beauty)!

She turned on an aging cassette player and put the tape on her favorite side. She started singing … in my ear of course. If there is anything I should be grateful for, it would be that she does not sing off key. Then she hums, then she sings, then she gets angry and stops everything.
“He’s a jerk,” she said to one of the other two girls while resting her hand on my head. “I told you. Dumb him. He doesn’t even deserve to see your shadow.”

Then she sings again. And starts her regular attempt at getting me to talk and say any information beyond my name. And of course I stick to ‘NO’ for reasons I might blog about later. So I dress differently to look older and more serious, never take my car key with me, never wear high heels, and never answer my phone in order not to give her a chance to start a conversation. Unfortunately, it seems all this has made me look more obscure to her and helped grow her curiousity.


• Are you engaged?
- No, Aleyya.
• Mafeesh boyfriend (in English)?
- Hmm. No, Aleyya.
• What do you do?
- Teacher.
• Of what?
- English.
• I love languages but I dropped school.
- Why?!
• Because my family back in the village wanted to marry me to my cousin and I told them I wanted to work and would get a job in Cairo. But my boyfriend wants me to go back to school.
- Good. What grade are you in?
• I’m in Year Ten. And he’s in Year Nine. He’s younger than me but he’s mature.
- He must be, otherwise you wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.
• That’s true. He is a real man. You know? When he sees me wearing any tight clothes, he boils with jealousy and fights with me and sends me home to get changed. Another time, when we were once invited to the same wedding. Oh, my! The bride was my best friends and pushed me to dance, I started dancing and in less than a minute he gave me that look … oh, my… like fire. I felt as if he slapped me on the face and stopped immediately. It took me ten days after this incidence to make up with him.
- Well, Kooki. It seems that he cares for you a lot. But I don’t see why you won’t continue your education. Have you thought about home schooling? You won’t have to go back to the village to attend school.
• That’s a good idea. I will check it out.
- Great. And another thing.
• What?
- I know he loves you but take good care of yourself.

She smiled shyly and went back to singing again when one of the girls’ telephone rang.
“Hello! … Evening!… Who is it?... No, wrong number,… you’re welcome,” the girl hung up.

Still talking in my ear...
• Fatma has a twang, no? She’s block nosed!
I started laughing.
- What are you saying?
• Yes, she is. Didn’t you hear her say “Henno!” instead of Henno?
- Well, you said Henno instead of ‘Hello’ just like she did now.
• Me?? No. I have a beautiful Henno. It drives men crazy.
- Really?
• Yes, once a man called and it was the wrong number. After he hung up, he phoned again to say “Miss, you have a beautiful Henno. Can we be friends?” I told him No a million times but he still phones every now and then.
- But, Aleyya. I still believe you said Henno!
• And I believe you'll look more beautiful with no eyebrows at all. What do you think?
- I think you have the sexiest Hello ever.